if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A women walks out of a kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sea World Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

25

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops