i hate you.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Patrick is gay

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A bar walks into your mother.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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