What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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I dislike old people.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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what time is it rape time

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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