Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

a little girl gets raped

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

A women walks out of a kitchen.

What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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