"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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You're so straight!

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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The WNBA

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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