What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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baby seal walks into a bar

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

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96

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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