Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Black people are clen.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops