When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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come along children

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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womens rights!

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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