If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats red white and blue? i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -38

World Of Warcraft

thumb_up thumb_down -46

what did the man say to the other man? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Adam Sandler.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down +35

go go gadget

thumb_up thumb_down +35

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops