Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Miscarriages.

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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a black father

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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you just lost the game!

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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