A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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tim rafter died no one cared

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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chuck norris

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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