Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock It's open, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

arse

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops