Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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thomas hall= fuckin dikc

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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Bing

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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