What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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A piece of shit gets flushed down the toilet. The end.

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Chrissy is funny.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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