roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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American Idol

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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steves legs

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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why was the black guy crying because he was getting whiped because he wasent working in the felids

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A seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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