What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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ur mother

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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