your momma's an antijoke

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What does a man like. food.

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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Knock knock! Yes?

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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