What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Obamacare!

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Baseball

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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Herman Cain

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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