what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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drugs.

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A black man killed someone

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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