An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

Got milk? No.

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

Chocolate tastes good.

What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

haha.

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

69

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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