So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

Herman Cain

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

Penis

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

Slavery

What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

anus soup

69

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...