What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Whats funny? Your face.

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What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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