What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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