Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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