There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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