Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops