In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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I? Everett

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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