What separates man from animal? Divorce.

Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Poop

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

Barack Obama is a good president.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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