A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Shltskc gw? G

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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