The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops