A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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my penis

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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