What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

Everybody will die

What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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