Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops