Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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