What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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