What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops