roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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