Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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