knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

A miserable man committed suicide.

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

A seal walks into a club.

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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