I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

thumb_up thumb_down

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

thumb_up thumb_down

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

thumb_up thumb_down

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

thumb_up thumb_down

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

thumb_up thumb_down

An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops