People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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Turkey Balls

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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