How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

What's upside down? umop apisdn

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

knock knock come in

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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