What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Goat balls.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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I won the game.

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops