My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I have an idea! You leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A house comes around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown an sticky Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops