Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops