Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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