What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

TRICERATOPS!

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...