A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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A pope meets another one

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Your're racist.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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