When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Death by kayak

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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