Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops