What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

A women left the kitchen.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

Matthew Wyckoff

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...