Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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What's blue? The sky.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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