What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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