What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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